Father & Son
Father's Day is tomorrow and I can't help but think about my dad. I look back on his life and his times and I am constantly amazed. The things this man saw and the events he went through are substantial. This is a man that was born in the 1940's. In his youth he saw the close of World War II, the Korean War, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the assassination of a US President, a man on the moon, Vietnam, the dawn of technology, the birth of the Internet and numerous other universal events that I had to read about in a history book for the most part. I think about my father often. The life he lived and lives, the things he has seen and the things he has overcome.
My dad was born the son of a Marine in the bowels of South Philadelphia. He spent his days going to Catholic school and playing stick-ball, basketball and any other sport with his friends. He started working when he was barely a teen. Unlike today's youth he didn't complain about having to work at the age of 16 or so (he began working just after 12) and he didn't work at McDonald's or a grocery store. My dad started his working life in the subway tunnels, selling newspapers and putting up with the occasional 'stick up' at gun point. Talk about aging quickly. My dad then went on to be drafted for Vietnam, but do to a bum leg he was not *allowed* to go. However he did watch many of his friends leave, some never to return. He watched his younger brother head out to Vietnam and his youngest brother become a Marine, just like their dad. My father went on to graduate from Temple University and he became a teacher. In pursuit to be an educator my dad traveled to Delaware but ended up moving down to Maryland where an opportunity presented itself.
Once in Maryland my father looked for a place to stay while he started his new career. He rented an apartment outside of Annapolis where he fell in love with the landlords daughter, this woman would eventually become my mother. My dad invested time and patience in his teaching career eventually moving on to become a guidance counselor. He served as a Board of Education Chair and spent more than 30 years in the same profession. When he retired from the educational system he left behind a track record of success.
My father led my family on a schoolteacher’s salary, yet we never felt as though we were missing anything in life. My father taught us that a strong work ethic and a moral code were the two most important things in the world. And that personal responsibility and ownership in you was something that was required. My dad made sure he made time for my sister and I. He was a tutor and a coach, a father and a friend but most importantly he was and is my hero.
A few months back while talking with my father I told him about something that had crossed my mind. If it was possible to go back in time, as I am now, if we were just two guys sitting in a bar and we began talking, would we be friends? Would he be a person I would want to talk to, hang out with and know? And vice-versa. Would I be a person he would look at, listen to and want to know as a friend? Or would he be some one I’d simply say “good day” to and walk the other way. I wonder what it would be like to know my father as a man first, and if my father would care to know me. Am I the kind of man my dad would be proud to call friend?
Too often I believe children take their parents for granted. They look on them as principals and enforcers, friends at times but more so wardens informing them of what is acceptable and what is not and the ramifications of each choice. But parents are people. I did not realize this fact for a long time. I simply took my parents for granted. Luckily I have modified my perception and am now in pursuit to know who my father was to become who he is. He had a life and interests, issues and glories long before children came into his life. To me it is very important to know the man he is before it is too late to ask him. So on this Father’s Day, take a moment to think about your father. Whether he was good or bad in your eyes, whether he was there for you or absent. Ask yourself what kind of man is this? What made him who he is? Ask yourself that question and you will find out something about yourself.
My dad was born the son of a Marine in the bowels of South Philadelphia. He spent his days going to Catholic school and playing stick-ball, basketball and any other sport with his friends. He started working when he was barely a teen. Unlike today's youth he didn't complain about having to work at the age of 16 or so (he began working just after 12) and he didn't work at McDonald's or a grocery store. My dad started his working life in the subway tunnels, selling newspapers and putting up with the occasional 'stick up' at gun point. Talk about aging quickly. My dad then went on to be drafted for Vietnam, but do to a bum leg he was not *allowed* to go. However he did watch many of his friends leave, some never to return. He watched his younger brother head out to Vietnam and his youngest brother become a Marine, just like their dad. My father went on to graduate from Temple University and he became a teacher. In pursuit to be an educator my dad traveled to Delaware but ended up moving down to Maryland where an opportunity presented itself.
Once in Maryland my father looked for a place to stay while he started his new career. He rented an apartment outside of Annapolis where he fell in love with the landlords daughter, this woman would eventually become my mother. My dad invested time and patience in his teaching career eventually moving on to become a guidance counselor. He served as a Board of Education Chair and spent more than 30 years in the same profession. When he retired from the educational system he left behind a track record of success.
My father led my family on a schoolteacher’s salary, yet we never felt as though we were missing anything in life. My father taught us that a strong work ethic and a moral code were the two most important things in the world. And that personal responsibility and ownership in you was something that was required. My dad made sure he made time for my sister and I. He was a tutor and a coach, a father and a friend but most importantly he was and is my hero.
A few months back while talking with my father I told him about something that had crossed my mind. If it was possible to go back in time, as I am now, if we were just two guys sitting in a bar and we began talking, would we be friends? Would he be a person I would want to talk to, hang out with and know? And vice-versa. Would I be a person he would look at, listen to and want to know as a friend? Or would he be some one I’d simply say “good day” to and walk the other way. I wonder what it would be like to know my father as a man first, and if my father would care to know me. Am I the kind of man my dad would be proud to call friend?
Too often I believe children take their parents for granted. They look on them as principals and enforcers, friends at times but more so wardens informing them of what is acceptable and what is not and the ramifications of each choice. But parents are people. I did not realize this fact for a long time. I simply took my parents for granted. Luckily I have modified my perception and am now in pursuit to know who my father was to become who he is. He had a life and interests, issues and glories long before children came into his life. To me it is very important to know the man he is before it is too late to ask him. So on this Father’s Day, take a moment to think about your father. Whether he was good or bad in your eyes, whether he was there for you or absent. Ask yourself what kind of man is this? What made him who he is? Ask yourself that question and you will find out something about yourself.
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